Yes!

I just slashed Professor Hell's tires on his van! It fel so good. Don't worry, he's not here. It was just his cat. Damn thing's ugly. But very affectionate. Maybe I'll take him home or something. You know I bet he's somebody. professor hell once turned Mayor Bloomberg into a Crow. I had spend all night convincing Professor Hell to turn him back. Bloomberg didn't do as much as offer me a hello.

You knwo they really shouldn't build that sstadium on the West Side. Queens would be a lot better. Why does everything need to be in Manhattan?

Great, I just spilled a SlimFast all over my pants. Dear Lord.

The Weekend

I'm typing this from Professor Hell's secret lair. And that fact alone really pisses me off. I should be lounging around, eating junior mints, and watching those Netflix DVDs that have been laying around for the past two months. But no, I couldn't get the idea out of my head to break into Professor Hell's Lair and steal his secret book. I think I'm still pissed at him for hitting me with that van. But deep down inside I know it was an accident. listen to me. I'm a lunatic. A lunatic with all sorts of crazy super powers. That can't be good. Maybe I should go see a therapist or something.

Am I addicted to blog writing? look at this! I should be keeping a low profile and hiding in Professor Hell's secret lair. How do you erase the history on explorer. You should see the monitor on this computer. Huge! This place is really nice--which also pisses me off because Professor Hell is such a doof. Such a doof. I listened to his answering machine and someone was making plans for him to hit Vegas this wekend so I'm pretty sure he won't be here anytime soon and Vegas has its own super heroes.

Oh crap, I just heard something. What was that? Oh crap! Oh crap!

Sidekick

DO i really need a sidekick? i just don't see myself on the intenet that much but they look really cool.

Sneeze

I just sneezed something awful. I sneezed and all of a sudden my sinuses are packed up. This stinks.

I just woke up. I heard pounding on someone's door down the hall and was all afraid that the landlord was coming to install a CO detector or something. I panicked because I had fallen asleep in my Kid Lightning costume. That would totally be the end of me. i almost went to the door in costume to see what was happening. that would have been awful. Actually, he probably wou;d have just thought I was some type of freak and kick e out of the building. My costume is looking rough. I need a couple patches. I might have gone up a size too. I hope not. Today i will do crunches.

I hope I'm not sick. I've had a slight cough for a couple weeks now. The last time I ran into Professor Hell he mumbled something about giving me a curse of sickness. but that fool can't do anything right, except slip through my butterfingers. Man, i hate that guy. He always does just enough damage just to get on my nerves.

I was reading some of this blog and realized that when I started out I used asome rough language. I'm trying to keep it clean. I don't usually talk too dirty. Sometimes. I swore at the police commisioner once, under my breath because he called me a a little boy. I'm 27.

My nose is running all over the place.

I had this weird dream last night. The Earth was ravaged by these alien space ships. Buildings were upturned. The sky was smokey orange-brown. And me and The Human monster were on top of a mountain holding these flags. Humanity's last hope. Maybe I'll write a screenplay about it.

I have the day off today. i don't know what I am going to do. Maybe I'll go check out a movie. I hear "Closer" is a real tear jerker. I'm kind of in the mood for that. Do any women read my blog by the way. I se I'm starting to get comments from dudes. It's nice that people are reading my blog, but it'd be nicer if some ladies were as well.

Sunday

It's Sunday. Here I am. I just woke up. The Human Monster and I got a fne last night for falling asleep on the subway. I was beat. We both were. We spent all night finding this kid who stole this thing that would have blown up the city. i don't even know what it was. Someone explained it to me but I didn't follow all the way. A lot of people assume that super heroes, such as myself and The Human Monster, have a Ph.D. in Physics and Chemistry. I don't. I'm more of a Biology guy, but even there I got Cs.

It really unnerces me when someone is explaining the threat that so and so mad scientist presents and then launches into a lecture about reverse rotating electrons. I have no idea what's going on.

My socks smell. They smell like the subway. I'm glad I don't live in Queens like the Hman monster. he lives above his landlady. She goes through his garbage to make sure he recycles. You believe that crap? I live in a building. If the landlord found a can in the garbage he wouldn't know who did it. But the Human monster, if he does that he gets a moutful. Maybe if his landlady knew all the good things he does she'd pay him a little more repsect. She walked into his apartment one sunday morning, said she had to change the battery in the smoke detector. he was laying in the bed with his girlfriend at the time. All three of them were embarassed then his landlady started yelling at the both of them like it was there fault. What the hell. He pays $750 a month. His roomate's an ass too. A paralegal. The guy is out of control. A real gem. A peach. Sometimes they share a laugh but most of the time they just resent each other.

Look at me, airing the Human monster's business all over the place. i live by myself so i don't have much to compalin about. or rather the only things I have to complain about are things that are my fault and I don't feel like delving to negative introspection after I spent all night trying to find that kid with that thing. He was in a cave upstate. We had to go all the way upstate. Well, not all the way. but it was outside the city. I'm not used to that. i'm used to everything being off of Broadway. But not this kid. What was that thing anyway? it was green and it glowed. Scared the crap out of me. We got it away from him. i'm still not sure how it happened. it was just one of those moments. one of those magic moments. The Human Monster and I were just talking to the kid and he kind of gave it up. Nothing really exciting. Just a lot of talking. A lot of people don't realize that we super heroes actually talk to people. it's not all zapping and throwing punches and running up walls. These are real people out there.

I sure am babbling today. Well that's enough, Eat it up, Internet. Eat it up.