The Trial of Fractula

Robos Court
Originally uploaded by kidlightning2.

I think i have dandruff. I haven't had this since I was 13. I just brushed my hair and all these little snow flakes showered down. I'm starting to to feel guilty for not dfrinking enough water. I've met other super heroes with dandruff. It's bad. You could rip mount everest out of the Earth with one hand and you're still known as the super hero chump with dandruff.

Speaking of super hero chumps with dandruff, I'm not on Earth right now. I'm on the stupid planet of Robos. You're going to have to bare with me and let me vent. I hate being on Robos and I had little choice in coming here. This planet is stupid as hell but they have (supposedly) one of the finest legal systems in the universe. I can't believe I just typed that. I need to starting playing a sport or something.

Anyway, they're trying one of my least favorite dipshit villains, Fractula for crimes against blah-blah-blah. Anyway, I was sleeping in in my crappy apartment in my cheap rickety loft bed and this lady wearing a toga comes in my room. At first, I was psyched, then I was bummed because she said I had to go to Robos and testify against Fractula. I said "No thanks" and she said "you can bring a small bag with you." So, I crawled down from bed and before I could gather everything I was zapped here.

At least the weather's nice, because they control it here. That seems kind of fascist to me. As does their one world government. Did I type that? Anywho...

I know what you are thinking," Alien Planet? Robos? What the hell are you talking about?" I know people say that chances of another planet with humans existing are slim to nil. I should be so lucky. There are tons of planets with tons of obnoxious demanding people on them. And I'm stuck one on of them.

And as for you second question, "Yes Robos has robots.": Too many if you ask me. ANd they could take it easy on the classical/ancient Greek/whatever you want to call it architecture. The whole place looks like a lame college campus.

And as for your third question: Guiliani would be a terrible President.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

When do Super Heroes take the bus?

When the 1 train runs per usual--all broken like and messed up. I was already late to work then I had to get off at 96th St. and take the damn bus. I know what you're saying, "Can't you just teleport. you're Kid Lightning afterall?!"

Well folks the dirty little secret about super powers is that it's not like typing in commands in a video game, unleashing the "Power Lightning" is a hassle. When it's early in the morning and you're late and you don't have enough money for a damn cup of five dollar crappaccino, you take the bus.

The Human Monster just emailed me and said we have to go take care of some zombies in Connecticut. As if I have the patience. I might just let this one slide. I think my email's having trouble today.

Burrito

I had a burrito last night for supper. The thing cost $10. What got me was that last week I stopped an interdimensional blob (don't get me started) from demolishing that whole block. There's no article in the paper. No thanks. And now they charge me $10 for a burrito. Organic meat it was supposed to have in it. It had some spice in it that almost made me cry. In a bad way. I was out $10 and I was in pain. I think next time an interdimensioal blob rolls down 9th avenue, I'll see what's going on in Queens.

Oh great, my stupid watch just started beeping for no reason.

No plans this weekend. Maybe I'll go for a walk or something. Decompress.

The Monday Blahs

I have a total case of the Monday blahs today. Its rainy. My clothes are recycled because I was too lazy to do my laundry yesterday, and nothing really exciting is happening on the IM's.

No to mention a giant hole in time has appeared in my bedroom. As if I didn't have enough of a mess to deal with. I sometimes wonder, would these sci-fi devices like having a hole in time in your bedroom happen to me if I didn't have these lame super powers.

Well, my powers aren't lame. You know what I mean.

So, I have this hole in time in bedroom. All I know is when I go and stand next to my TV tray buffet table time either accelerates, slows down, or goes backward. Hopefully this will help me get out of some kind of jam. If it were more predictable I would have slept in it and gotten a couple extra hours in.

I went on one of those online dates the other night. I'm a little nervous because on her profile she says she doesn't like super heroes.

I think I can handle it though. I once sweet talked a viking ship full of vampires.

The End of an Era

I wish for once everyone would stop bothering me at work today. I'm so close to hand in my resignation letter. If I do hand in my resignation letter it will read something like this

Dear Sirs,

You are jerks. This job is boring. Smell you guys later.

Sincerely,

Me

PS In case you guys need to be clued in, I'm a super hero and have better things to do.

Dimensions

I was walking down the street today and a crack opened in the sidewalk and sucked me into another dimension. Needless to say, my boss was none to pleased when I showed up fifteen minutes late.

Sorry

Sorry it's been so long since I posted. Things have been absolutely NUTS at work. And there's this federal agent with super powers like watching me all the time. He has the power where he can appear behind any door. It's weird and so is he. I think he's trying to get me to work for the Pentagon. I'm not interested. You see what those people make? Exactly. I'll make that and keep my temp job and a private life, thank you.

The word on the street is that federal super heroes have it the worst and if they quit, they're immediately suspected of super villainy. A real bad deal.

I just spilled ketchup on my pants. My nice pants. My $50 pants. Damn it. I am so angry right now. This means I have to do laundry tonight. After I return the time Crystal to the secret time lair. That'll take three hours.

I hate this crap.